Things I'd Tell Her If I Could

As you're probably sick of hearing, my birthday was last week. And lately, I've been in a kind of reflective funk. Everything has a deeper meaning and my birthday didn't turn out to be any different. I turned 24 and I began thinking that my life took some really wild turns in the last ten years. So that got me to thinking about how much I'd like to rewind those years back and give it another go knowing then what I know now. So, if I could tell my 14 year old self the following things I would in a heartbeat.

1. Be nice to that girl in English class - you will regret being mean to her and she will one day be one of your best friends. (It was truly amazing when I realized that M wanted to be my friend considering I used to unmercifully tease her about being the teacher's pet. She's my complete opposite and that makes our relationship totally work!)

2. Drive safely and watch out for the other guy. (I've had four car accidents,totaled two cars, and considerably increased my parent's insurance in the relatively few years I've been driving.)

3.You won't go to Baylor University. Embrace a little college called Midwestern State University. (Who would have known that the "smallest university in Texas" would become one of my favorite places to be?!)

4,Scrubbing toilets builds character. (One of my first jobs was working part time with my dad as he cleaned our church...I got to clean toilets. Toilets aren't fun...enough said.)

5.Spend more time with Daddy - time will become more and more limited and much more precious. (I didn't realize then that as much as I hated cleaning the toilets that he hated the job even more, but he did it every week because he could see whatcouldn'td't. If he worked hard then, I wouldn't have to work so hard in college. Thank you Daddy! I love you very much.)

6.Some friends come and stay forever while others are only in your life briefly. Cherish them all. (Friendships that I made in second grade during Girl Scouts and I thought would last forever ended. And people that I never expected to befriend became my closest confidants. I learned over the years to be grateful for them all.)

7. When that Hopper boy makes your insides flutter, ignore it. (Ignore it because you'll still be wishing you could when you're 24.)

8.Megan isn't the devil and you'll learn the meaning of tolerance from her. (Megan was the first roommate that I ever had that I had not handpicked myself. She was also the worst. She was underage and liked to drink. Oh and her sexuality was on display every weekend...usually on my couch on the other side of my bedroom wall. ICK. Needless to say, to my 22 year old self was sure she was the devil.)

9.You are not going to be a dental hygienist. (I still don't know where that dream came from, but I held on to it for all it was worth. Right up till the time I had to fill out the No Exit Past This Point paperwork for the dental hygiene program in college. If only I could tell her that money isn't everything and kids can be fun.)

10.Do not under any circumstances ever date a guy named Jason. You'll just have to trust me on this one. (Just like it says...she'll have to trust me or find out the hard way. Oh how I wish I'd known before hand what I learned the hard way with this guy.)

11.Mama will be your best friend one day. (I wish every single woman could say this about her relationship with her mother. Perhaps it is because I'm an only child or maybe I was just really blessed, but it is true. She is my anchor and my voice of reason. I love her and the thought of losing her breaks my heart. This was truly pointed out to me when she had major surgery in 2001 and asked me not to be angry with God.)

12.May 14, 2005. You will graduate from college and realize that somewhere along the way their dream became your dream. (I only thought I was living their dream for me. I graduated and I discovered that I wasn't just living "their dream", but that they were only cultivating my own dreams for myself.)

13.Embrace your hometown. You won't be running as far as you think you will. (I couldn't wait to leave this town. And I missed it like crazy when I left. I couldn't believe it and was pretty sure I had some weird version of Stockholm Syndrome. I can laugh now because I have a hard time picturing myself anywhere else.)

14.Life is not exactly what you pictured when you graduate from college so stay strong when your faith begins to shake. (Yeah, I wish I could tell her that she'll graduate and get a job and move out and decorate her place really cute but I can't. She'll still be at home and jobless, but I want her to know that she'll begin to feel safe and secure in the knowledge that God knows the plans He has for her.)

This makes me wonder if somewhere in another time and place there is a woman wishing she could tell me a few things.