Murder...Texas Style

I consider myself a pretty nice person. I smile at people and remember birthdays. I enjoy writing a letter or sending a card to cheer someone up. I don't cut people off in traffic. I'm just an all around friendly person.

But, there are certain times when all that goodness flows right out of me. I turn into a vicious woman. I'll lie to your face and cut your throat at every turn if I can find a way. I won't care how close you are to your goal. I am solely focused on myself.

Yes, people...I have an extremely competitive nature when it comes to board games. More specifically the board game Murder. This is a board, card, and marble game all rolled into one. It is similar to Sorry! But a little different. The point is to get all your guys in your home before anyone else can get their guys into home.

I'm in a group of ladies that try to get together at least once a month for a rousing round of Murder. We got together Tuesday. There were two new gals joining us so we agreed to play easy. Who ever heard of playing easy? This is Murder people...not treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself. Anyway, I played that way for a little while. But deep down inside my inner player was screaming for me to forget the rules and play for blood.

If you knew me better, you'd realize that I have little to no will-power. So, I began to play dirty. I mean really dirty. Unfortunately, these new gals were sitting on each side of me. And since we played in partners they were my competition...a very sorry place for them to be, but nonetheless where they found themselves. Well, since they were new they kept asking me what they should do. What moves should they make. This is comparable to dangling fresh meat in front of a starving dog. What is a girl to do?

Well, first I bumped a few marbles back to the opposition's home. Then I began to tell them to play their cards to my advantage. Yes, I am ashamed. I've come here to confess and cleanse my soul. So...confession...I played really dirty. Ahhh, I do feel better!

Okay, so I'm really getting to my point. I can't really leave my wins and (very occasionally) losses at the game table. Where does this competitive nature come from? I'm an only child so I've never really had to compete for time, attention, or means. And while I usually consider myself a good sport, sometimes I do pout when I lose. But I think the most eye-opening thing about this game of Murder was the fact that a lady from the other team told the new lady "See I told you she was vicious." I jokingly laughed and commented that she shouldn't spread rumors. She claimed that it wasn't a rumor if it was true.

This kind of stopped me in my tracks. Perhaps I do take winning and losing to extremes. Where I've always considered myself a good sport, I've had to take stock and reevaluate myself. I have no answers right now. I'm sure this will be a long term thing. I think the real test will come next month at the next Murder night.

Party Recap

Last night was the Halloween party. I thought I'd amuse myself, and those of you that stop by here, by recapping last night's activities.

Perhaps I should start earlier in the day... (this is the part where the world goes fuzzy as we focus in on me in the morning)...I was returning from a sleep-over. I just had enough time to jump in the shower, but not enough to dry my hair when I jumped out. I had to make a waxing appointment. If you knew me, you'd understand that my hair is slightly wavy so it frizzes if I don't tame it with a hair dryer. So, I just let it air dry and then just pulled it up into a ponytail. (More fuzzy as we refocus on me after work.)

Wet/dry hair - check
Get dressed as Shirley as I mutter that no one is ever going to get this outfit - check
Touch up my make-up - check
Discover that my comfortable black pumps are still packed away with my winter stuff and that I'll have to wear my pointy toe witch shoes - check
Decide to toss in a pair of jeans because no one is ever going to get this outfit and I should be comfortable - check
Grab a bag of chips (my contribution to the party) - check

I have to admit that I was a little nervous going to this party. I was invited by my friend C, so these were her friends, her inside jokes, her party basically. But, I shouldn't have been nervous. Her friends were totally open and welcoming. Now, I've been harping on my "costume" so I think it's only fair to recount some of the more creative costumes.

In no particular order:
1. Gorilla wearing a red lace bra and thong panty set (This happened to be my absolute favorite! No one could look at her in this outfit without first feeling creeped by the face and then you got another feeling as you watched her walk away with a strip of red fabric working it's way up her butt.)
2. Willy Nelson
3. Princess Fiona (complete with green body paint...everywhere)
4. Skater Boy (kinda like our costume...he brought a skate board and called himself skater boy. She wore an L and called herself Laverne)
5. Dracula and his princess bride
6. Zorro
7. Ref and ball player
8. NASA astronauts (these were pretty creative too)
9. Redneck
10. Disco Diva
11. SWAT team member

If you haven't gotten together a costume yet, I highly recommend the gorilla wearing a red thong...just try it!

There was dinner and games and snacks. Finally, we get to the heavy stuff. We were divided into teams for a Halloween themed scavenger hunt.

Okay, I have to come back to this topic, but I must tell you about the guy. There was one guy there that just kinda struck me. He seemed a little shy but very hot. But remember these aren't my friends or my crowd so I coulnd't just up and introduce myself and start flirting. There are social rules people! Anyway, just as I'm working up the nerve to say something incredibly articulate like " how about those hotdogs?" my friend C says "That's him...the guy that I really like." Well crap. Chicks before dicks and all that stuff. Okay, so I'm going to lay off flirting with the guy and just enjoy the party. Okay now back to the scavenger hunt. Can you take a guess as to who ends up on our team?

Our team of six piles into the mini van that will be taking us around our town to find various Halloween things. We immediately jump out two houses down and pose with a blow-up Pooh dracula. Next stop...black cat. The driver spots this wandering cat. It's about 10 pm and it looks black. We nominate one person to jump out and sneak up on the cat and catch it until our entire group can get next to it. Can you see this in your mind? This poor cat...it's screaming and struggling to get free. Finally, we snap a picture and leave the poor kitty alone. Now, I started out sitting next to C in the backseat of the mini van. After our last jump out, now I'm sitting next to the guy. And I wasn't the one to change seats. Okay...be strong Steffany. This is not your guy and you have no business flirting with her guy...even if he isn't exactly her guy. Did I mention how small the backseat of this mini van is? A few more stops and we're at a cemetary.

Now, I can't really describe how creepy a cemetary is at night. Well at least for me...I'm what you would call a scaredy cat. I should mention that we're looking for a tombstone and all we're finding are those plaques on the ground. Someone's brilliant idea is to go search. Okay... We pile out and the driver turns the headlights off. I calmly ask why we can't leave them on and he tells me that leaving them on might alert the police. The police? Well now I'm practically running to catch up. Finally we find a tombstone and just as I step on the grass (isn't there some sort of curse for stepping on a grave?) another girl asks if this is fresh. Fresh...what the heck does fresh mean? Now I'm seriously creeped out and I just want to take the picture. So we take one and before the flash has even died down, I'm off to the van. Wait, I'm not sure that one took...we need another one. Oh give me a break.... Finally the photographer is satisfied. We pile back into the van...and who sits by me? Yep...the guy.

That's about all that was really interesting on the scavenger hunt. We didn't win though. That kind of sucked. So no candy prizes for me. Just a warm fuzzy feeling that I can be strong and not flirt with my friend's guy. Okay so there might have been a little flirting but not enough to warrent any guilt feelings.

Gosh, this is longer than I thought. Just a little more...come on people, you've come this far!

Anyway, after prizes have been given out for creative costume (no, we didn't win) and scavenger team with the most points we settle down for a rousing game of Balderdash. I love this game. Coming up with bs is kinda like a past time (blogging not included in that...seriously). Anyway, I love this game! I won't bore you with details but I stumped everyone with my plot for this movie title Operation: Bikini. I should point out that this was a church group function and the movie title promps were very unchurchlike. Just to name a few: Operation: Bikini, Get Em Off (we laughed for a full five minutes), and One Thrilling Night. College guys (even the church variety) can get a little off that late at night.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed myself last night at C's party. She can invite me back anytime she wants....especially if the guy is there. No flirting...strickly admiring. I came home about 1:30 am and went straight to sleep. So, since I was up late last night, I've got to wrap this up and head to bed. I had fun and maybe if you're lucky you enjoyed hearing the recap!

Shirley

I'm going to a Halloween party. I'm going as Shirley. You know...the other half of Laverne? Anyway, while this wouldn't be my first choice (I was strongly pulling for Betty and Wilma) I am resigned to being her. My cohort also wants us to learn the theme song. People am I the only one who thinks this is too much?! :op Anyway, after wracking my closet and threatening to raid hers, I think I've discovered something I could wear. It's pretty simple. An A line skirt, a sweater, and a scarf around my neck. Now another question, will anyone know who we are? Of course she'll be wearing the L so maybe they will get it.

Not a lot worth writing about in my blog so far this week. There is a debate taking place on another blog about gay marriage. Some people are really nasty with the name calling. Anyway, I'm currently trying to make my point in the nicest way possible. I'll keep you posted.

Now, I see my little numbers increasing on the times my blog has been viewed so why aren't you people leaving comments? I'll admit it...I like getting comments. So if you've taken the time to read this far into the post, please leave me a comment letting me know you were here!

Things I'd Tell Her If I Could

As you're probably sick of hearing, my birthday was last week. And lately, I've been in a kind of reflective funk. Everything has a deeper meaning and my birthday didn't turn out to be any different. I turned 24 and I began thinking that my life took some really wild turns in the last ten years. So that got me to thinking about how much I'd like to rewind those years back and give it another go knowing then what I know now. So, if I could tell my 14 year old self the following things I would in a heartbeat.

1. Be nice to that girl in English class - you will regret being mean to her and she will one day be one of your best friends. (It was truly amazing when I realized that M wanted to be my friend considering I used to unmercifully tease her about being the teacher's pet. She's my complete opposite and that makes our relationship totally work!)

2. Drive safely and watch out for the other guy. (I've had four car accidents,totaled two cars, and considerably increased my parent's insurance in the relatively few years I've been driving.)

3.You won't go to Baylor University. Embrace a little college called Midwestern State University. (Who would have known that the "smallest university in Texas" would become one of my favorite places to be?!)

4,Scrubbing toilets builds character. (One of my first jobs was working part time with my dad as he cleaned our church...I got to clean toilets. Toilets aren't fun...enough said.)

5.Spend more time with Daddy - time will become more and more limited and much more precious. (I didn't realize then that as much as I hated cleaning the toilets that he hated the job even more, but he did it every week because he could see whatcouldn'td't. If he worked hard then, I wouldn't have to work so hard in college. Thank you Daddy! I love you very much.)

6.Some friends come and stay forever while others are only in your life briefly. Cherish them all. (Friendships that I made in second grade during Girl Scouts and I thought would last forever ended. And people that I never expected to befriend became my closest confidants. I learned over the years to be grateful for them all.)

7. When that Hopper boy makes your insides flutter, ignore it. (Ignore it because you'll still be wishing you could when you're 24.)

8.Megan isn't the devil and you'll learn the meaning of tolerance from her. (Megan was the first roommate that I ever had that I had not handpicked myself. She was also the worst. She was underage and liked to drink. Oh and her sexuality was on display every weekend...usually on my couch on the other side of my bedroom wall. ICK. Needless to say, to my 22 year old self was sure she was the devil.)

9.You are not going to be a dental hygienist. (I still don't know where that dream came from, but I held on to it for all it was worth. Right up till the time I had to fill out the No Exit Past This Point paperwork for the dental hygiene program in college. If only I could tell her that money isn't everything and kids can be fun.)

10.Do not under any circumstances ever date a guy named Jason. You'll just have to trust me on this one. (Just like it says...she'll have to trust me or find out the hard way. Oh how I wish I'd known before hand what I learned the hard way with this guy.)

11.Mama will be your best friend one day. (I wish every single woman could say this about her relationship with her mother. Perhaps it is because I'm an only child or maybe I was just really blessed, but it is true. She is my anchor and my voice of reason. I love her and the thought of losing her breaks my heart. This was truly pointed out to me when she had major surgery in 2001 and asked me not to be angry with God.)

12.May 14, 2005. You will graduate from college and realize that somewhere along the way their dream became your dream. (I only thought I was living their dream for me. I graduated and I discovered that I wasn't just living "their dream", but that they were only cultivating my own dreams for myself.)

13.Embrace your hometown. You won't be running as far as you think you will. (I couldn't wait to leave this town. And I missed it like crazy when I left. I couldn't believe it and was pretty sure I had some weird version of Stockholm Syndrome. I can laugh now because I have a hard time picturing myself anywhere else.)

14.Life is not exactly what you pictured when you graduate from college so stay strong when your faith begins to shake. (Yeah, I wish I could tell her that she'll graduate and get a job and move out and decorate her place really cute but I can't. She'll still be at home and jobless, but I want her to know that she'll begin to feel safe and secure in the knowledge that God knows the plans He has for her.)

This makes me wonder if somewhere in another time and place there is a woman wishing she could tell me a few things.

The Joys of HMOs

I'm sure everyone enjoys a visit to the doctor. Especially if that doctor is in a network with others that ineffectively make up an HMO. (To be honest, I don't know what HMO stands for. Could it be Hell Making an Office appointment? ) Anyway, the last few weeks I've had some really bad allergy problems...you know runny nose and sore throat. I have an ENT specialist so getting some relief shouldn't be a problem right? A ha...you're wrong!

I had an appointment today, which I actually had to start planning for two weeks ago when I called my PCP for a referral. She said she'd get it taken care of in a tone that said she had something else she needed to be doing. (I'm normally a person that waits until the last minute so I figured by giving her 9 days advanced notice I was a head of the game.) So, I take off early this afternoon and head over to the ENT doc. (That's ear nose and throat just in case you're wondering.) The receptionist was really nice as she asked me for my insurance card and then kindly informed me that there was no referral on file. What?!?!! I know I made that call two weeks ago. So I call my PCP and inquire as to what the deal is. Don't worry I'm assured...we'll have it right over. Well right over turned out to be 35 minutes later. Did I mention that my appointment was at 4:15pm and 35 minutes later makes it 4:50pm? Well, after paying my co-pay (I could have had a four course meal for what I shelled out) I get to be examed by my doctor for about 5 minutes. Long enough for him to tell me that I'll need further testing and the nurse will set that up for me. No prescription for the runny nose and sore throat or the swollen nostril that he found. Okay, so this means that I'll get in next week maybe. Guess again. I'll get in next month. Yep, I said next month. And that's the earliest appointment available. Anyone have a home remedy for allergies?

God bless the HMO.

A @*#$ Potty Mouth

I can still remember the first time I ever cussed. I was going somewhere with my daddy and I said damn. I didn't have a clue as to what that word meant or why my saying it made my daddy pull over to the side of the road. He asked me what I had said so I said it again. He let me know in no uncertain terms that that word was a bad word that I was not to say again. Apparently the lesson stuck because I can count on two hands the number of times I've cussed since then.

I didn't grow up in an environment where cussing was a standard part of the language. My parents didn't use that sort of language while I was growing up and I've only heard them curse a handful of times. And the majority of those times have been within the last year. Now don't get your panties/tighty whities in a knot. I'm not that sheltered. I just choose to express myself without the use of profanity, but I'd hate to leave the impression that I've never cussed. I have but only seldom. Now please don't think that I'm passing judgement on people that do use curse words to express themselves. What you choose to say is your business.

But I do have a problem with parents that let their children use that kind of language. And not just let them use that kind of language but teach them that kind of language. I like to watch T.V and more specifically reality T.V. Usually on Monday nights I watch Wife Swap. Last week, there was a little boy (8 years old at the most) who was saying things like "f*** you lady" and "that's a bunch of s***". Okay, I can see how the producers of this show might like the shock aspect of this kind of thing. Hey, apparently it's helping them get ratings...I'm still watching. Anyway, last week the father said he didn't mind if his 8 year old son (that's second grade people!) used language that was what anyone would consider foul. Now, you can see how I would be shocked by this. I can't even say a little damn without feeling a little weird. But this is a T.V. thing. Surely normal people don't go around encouraging their baby to have a bad word be his first word.

Apparently, I'm very wrong. In the last week, I've sent two kids to the principal's office and I seriously thought about it today. And for what, profanity. Maybe I should mention that I was teaching second graders! Anyway, this little boy today was proud of his use of the word b****. I was pretty much in shock (and no he wasn't directing that comment at me) and I asked the first thing that came to my mind..."Do your parents let you talk like that at home?" "Yeah Miss, my dad taught me that word." My jaw just dropped! Last week a little first grader said "You're just a p***y" to a little girl on the playground. No wonder the world seems to be going down the toilet...our future has a huge potty mouth.

So, my question is, those of you out there that endulge in the occasional (or heck, often) use of profanity, do you teach it to your children? Are you proud of the fact that your child knows what b****, f***, s***, p****, and d*** mean and can use it in a sentence but can't grasp the proper use of verbs and nouns? And if you do allow your children to speak that way, do you at least let them know that there are certain places where language like that isn't appropriate...namely the school playground? And I've always wondered this since I spent a weekend with a college roommate's family. Is there a certain age when you can start using curse words freely among the family?

I wonder how hot a topic this will be or if cursing is just as common place as PB and J sandwiches.

A Bridget Jones Night

I was blessed, or rather cursed, with hips instead of nice big breasts. I'm not tall and willowy...more petite and curvy. I don't think I need to have painted on clothes to look attractive. And to quote Bridget "my legs only come up to here and I'll always be just a little bit fat."

I've always prided myself on not being wrapped up in how I look. My self-confidence isn't wrapped up in what size jeans I wear or how big my breasts are in porportion to the rest of me. But unfortunately, tonight I kinda feel like ranting. And at the root of all this self pity and frustration is, of course, a guy. He's not even really my guy. He's just a guy that I've spent considerable time flirting with and wishing he was my guy.

Anyway, tonight he spent the better part of the night ogling her breasts which are considerably more than mine. And she's younger. But, heck...I am not old!

GRRR I can't believe that I am even letting her and his apparent interest in her get to me like this. Well, here's what I did. I ignored (okay so I didn't ignore...I pretended to be really interested in my hot dog and kept track of his every move) him. Then as the night was over and we were getting ready to go home I made a point to say goodnight to everyone except boob girl and boob watching boy. He noticed and walked out just a few seconds after me. But I got in my car and burned rubber getting out of the parking lot. Childish yes. Did it make me feel better...not exactly. Would he have asked what was wrong? Was he coming to ask where his goodnight was? We'll never know.

So, is there anything to those "we must, we must, we must increase our bust" excersizes?

Lessons Learned From The Calendar

These days I seem to be spending more and more time looking at my calendar. I use one of those calendars that have the big squares so I can write all over it. And I have a habit of writing in my calendar with thin lined markers. I like the way color looks. Anyway, since I've spent a lot of time with my calendar lately, I started to think about the things I've learned from my calendar.

1. Tomorrow never comes. I find myself worrying...no, lets just say thinking ahead...that sounds better about what tomorrow will bring. And then I realized that tomorrow never comes. Why should I spend all that time "thining ahead" about something that will never happen?

2. Life is much better in color! Like I said, I like to write in markers and different colored markers. I used to color code classes when I was in college so I could keep track of assignments. Now I just color code other things...like when I'm subbing and when I work at my part-time job. Pencil is just so boring.

3. Life is what happens when you're making plans. I write a lot of things in my calendar. I write when I start my period. I write when I'm working. I even write little things that I want to remember (yep I keep past calendars and look back) like when I started blogging. I also keep track of how close my New York trip is getting. I try to make sure that life is more about the things I do and the people I share my life with than just what is written in my paper calendar.

4. I can stretch myself too thin. I enjoy being a social butterfly and going and doing. I usually have my fingers in a lot of different pies. I teach Sunday School at my church. I work two jobs. I have friends. I have family. I swim four times a week. Sometimes I look at my calendar and wonder when I make time for myself. I read somewhere that if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anything else. Time just for me is precious and I work to make sure that in and among everything else in my life that there is enough me time.

5. The older I get the faster time flies! I didn't really think my mom knew what she was talking about when she said that the older you get the faster time will fly. She said this right before I started high school. She reminded me to make the most of my days because they would be gone before I knew it. And you know what...Mama was right. Time flew and before I even knew it I was a senior and thinking about college. And I can't even tell you how fast college went by. I loved every minute of it (okay there were three months when I wanted to kill my roommate but that's an entirely different post) and sometimes when life gets too hectic I wish I could go back. I just had a birthday (okay last shameless plug!) and I can't believe I'm almost a quarter century old. Time flies and boy you'd better sit up and buckle up for the ride.

6. Grin and bear it and silently plot revenge. I have one of those Twisted Whiskers calendar hanging on my bedroom bulletin board. You know those one where the animals have the really huge eyes and funny expressions. Anyway, there is one where the animal is a bear and he's next to this saying. I like it because I can really identify with that whole silently plotting revenge thing. I know...I'm working on it.

I've noticed that lately I have a tendency to be really insightful. And I think that's a good thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (Post Script)

Happy birthday baby! Live it for all it's worth!

Well today was a really good day! I got to sleep late this morning and it was even nippy outside...my favorite kind of weather. I did have to work but even work was slow and easy today. Several people wished me happy birthday (thank you to those that did so in my comments). Tonight my family took me out to eat. We eat at my favorite Chinese restaurant.

Umm little detour...I'm a cock. No, seriously, that's my Zodiak symbol. I'm quick and have a love for learning (hmmm might explain the teacher thing) and I'm also selfish and eccentric. Is eccentric even a good thing? And apparently snakes will make a good match. How true are these things?!

Anyway, back to my birthday. I love to collect Willow Tree figurines. Last Christmas my parents bought me the W.T nativity. I also collect those. Anyway, they got me the wise men set as part of my birthday. And I promptly broke the head off of wiseman number three. Grace was never my middle name. But thankfully it was a clean break and with a little super glue surgery scheduled he'll be back to being wise shortly. I also got a digital camera. I was none too subtle in letting my parents know that I really wanted a digital camera for my birthday. So tomorrow I get to read all the instructions and play with it! I also got some green...always a good thing...and some really pretty cards.

But most importantly, my family was together. Even my 89 year old great grandmother made it out to dinner along with my aunt. As I get older (gosh I never thought I'd use that phrase) I'm learning to appreciate the fact that birthdays are more about family and traditions than what's wrapped up in a box.

I was wrong before...today was a great day! I hope that all my days this year are as great as today.

Talk About Being Judgmental

Okay so I'm not really an expert on this whole blogging thing but I think I have the main components down. I write something (anything from how my day went to my love life) and sometimes other people stop by and take a peak into what is my life. This sounds really simple in theory, but apparently that isn't the case.

Around this blogger site there seems to be a bad case of "the anonymous" going around. You know what I'm talking about. Those people that read blogs and comment without giving the writer a clue who it came from. For instance, Rachael has had a few anonymous comments left on her blog. And from what I've read Anonymous is really got a problem with her and what she has written. And then there is Midwest Hick...he's really ticking off the anonymous crowd (hope you're still around buddy...hate to see you get flagged...whatever that means). And it's not just on this site. A friend of mine has a respectable blog on another site and she's fallen victim to "the anonymous". All of these cases lead me to some questions. They are as follows:

1. Just who is the anonymous? I'm a person that likes to take credit for things I think and feel. Therefore, I'm usually sharing my opinion and in turn I certainly want to take the credit for it. Okay so that doesn't always turn out great, but I'm the first to own up to my mistakes. So these people...whoever they be...should just put a name to their comments. Really people...I probably don't know you so why not just leave your name.

2. Why do the anonymous really feel it necessary to leave comments? I'd guess that 99% of the time the comments that get left are negative ones. Someone has taken the time to read my or your blog and has taken offense. So instead of moving on to the next blog with a mental note to not return here, they choose to leave a you're-scum-and-you-offend-me comment. And usually it's not just one comment...they return to the same self described bad blog to comment more. Don't they know that they only look foolish and we're gaining vast amusement from them?

3. Why do we allow ourselves to be drawn into written battles with these nameless people? When I first started searching around about the blog craze, I ran into several people's blogs that shared some really personal stuff. Sure, some of it made my stomach turn and some of it tickled my funny bone. I left comments places where I enjoyed the read and I quickly left the ones that just weren't something I was interested in. And while leaving my comments I skimmed the comments that others made. I quickly realized that just because I choose to share my life and thoughts with others does not mean that they will agree with me. I've learned this in real life and it's apparently true in cyber life as well. You may not care that my birthday is tomorrow or that I am an often times confused Republican. Therefore, when someone disagrees with me, I take it for what it is...a different opinion. Everyone is entitled to one. It's those people that leave comments that almost force you to defend yourself and your position...whatever it may be...that piss me off. If the blog offends you than stop reading it! How hard is that?

Anyway, this little rant sounded a lot better in my head the other night so it may have come out as clear as mud. And for those anonymous people out there....thank you for the entertainment.