He said don't feel guilty.
She said guilt wasn't what she felt.
And that was the truth and at the same time a lie. She'd told herself she wasn't going to cross that line again...with anyone...the line of being fine for a moment, but not enough for the long run. Crossing that line always left her feeling a little used and caused a trimmer of self doubt.
When he told her not to feel guilty she found it slightly amusing that the guilt she felt wasn't because of what they had done but rather in her lack of regretting it. She fully understood what those moments of hollow pleasure would do and how she'd feel, but that obviously wasn't enough to keep her from going headlong into the situation. And if she was deep down honest, she'd probably cross the line again if given the opportunity. She couldn't help but wonder if just a tiny part of her was growing hard and cold.
Would she never learn?
Monday, June 25, 2007
Ponderings
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6 comments:
I think everyone has those ponderings about something in their life. You are definitely not less for it, but it is a chance to learn and go on. I know that sounds completely cliche but it really freaky out that has some truth to it as well. And I don't think anyone gets hard or cold - just accepting.
wow.
all i can say is, in the words of Garth Brooks, "i could've missed the pain, but i'da have to miss The Dance."
don't ever miss a dance.
We learn a little lesson from every adventure we take in life ~ enjoy the ride and don't waste time with regrets!
The problem with regrets is the same problem with anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness - they only hurt us!
Loved the entry.
Girl, I can see this. It's a choice. Do you cross that line and risk losing yourself? All for momentary pleasure and short term gain (long term loss)?
I think we've all been with "that person" at one time or another, and when we look back at that time, it's like, what were we thinking and how could I have been like that? But in all seriousness, it's probably a good thing (not at the time) to experience, because then you know what you DON'T want in a partner and what to look out for. And sometimes, it's something you do at that time for fun and enjoyment, and there's nothing wrong with that. No regrets! Life is too short! Yes, you will learn, we all do at some point. Don't be so hard on yourself:)
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