Seriously...More?

I'm beginning to think that this blog is really just a place where I can chronicle all the bad stuff that seems to fall into my life. What a horrible attitude to have right? Believe me, I'm trying to stay positive. I'm sure that somewhere I asked God for patience or understanding or to simply help me grow and well...He's answering prayer. Oh Lord...must all growing be painful?

Yesterday, we found out that my dad has skin cancer. While no one really was prepared for skin cancer, we're not surprised. My dad was a construction worker for many many years and even today still works mostly outside. The cancer is on his ear and has been there a while (you know men...never want to see a doctor) so they can't just burn it off or freeze it off. Next Tuesday he'll go in and have a local numbing thing and they will cut it off. Supposedly the doctor is really good and knows his cancer so we're all confident that he'll get it all. The only real concern is that if the cancer is deep then there might not be enough skin left to stitch back together the hole. The doctor mentioned skin grafts, but that is a bridge to cross when they come to it.

Surprisingly there is some humor to be found in that...I asked my mom where would they get the skin from and she said maybe his leg or maybe his butt. Of course, why would they put leg skin...with leg hair on it...on his ear. Then I had the thought that he does have some ear hair so what difference would that make. I was sharing this little bit of funny with my friend Rachel and was mentioning that he might have butt skin on his ear to which she reminded me that some guys have hairy butts. So...Daddy might have some funky hair growing out of his ear if grafting is required.

When I first heard, I was understandably upset and scared. And if you don't understand that then you'll want to stop reading right here... My rational, clear thinking brain knew that if he's got to have cancer then this is the kind to have. I know that it isn't on the same level as lung cancer or such. I know that he's got an experienced doctor and that this isn't the bad kind that might spread. Once it is removed, most likely he'll be 100% fine. I know that it doesn't require radiation or chemo...just a local numbing thing in the office and he can go to work the next day. My heart though...it locked on the word cancer. Cancer is bad...people die from cancer. I was scared and worried and needed to have a moment to just be freaked out.

I had three wonderful friends whose first words when I told them were to the effect of disbelief and concern for me and my family. Then came the encouraging words of "It'll be okay!" and "Usually this kind of cancer is treatable and curable!". I had some people rush into saying "Oh you won't have to worry about that." and "That really isn't the bad kind" and "I"m sure he'll be fine." I felt like my feelings and concerns weren't valid. I, unfortunately, took one person's head off even though I know he was just trying to be supportive. The others I just tried to not be sarcastic to and look at their intentions.

My mom said it best...we're sensitive because it is our person that we love so the whole cancer thing (even if it is the kind that shouldn't freak people out and that isn't really much a blip in terms of cancer) effects us differently. I know those people were being supportive and caring. I was just sensitive (and in some cases overly sensitive) to the comments. So, I'm thinking that I'm not going to tell anyone else. Tuesday will come and Wednesday will roll in cancer free so why make a big deal right?

I've shaken off those first frightening reactions to the news, and more calm about things. Still, I feel like saying seriously God...please no more.