Living A Faux Life?

faux
adj : not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article; [syn: fake, false, imitation, simulated]
www.mydictionary.com

Sometimes I can't help but feel that my life is one big fake life...like the life I'm supposed to be living is out there somewhere and I'm here...in the fake one. Here is a great example:

I'm a substitute teacher. If that doesn't just scream fake. Actually, to set the record straight, I am a real teacher. I went to college for five years, took all the required state tests, studied my butt off and passed said tests, graduated, and have a piece of paper from the state of Texas that says I'm a teacher. But I'm missing a few main components. Mainly the classroom and students. Where I live, it's pretty much impossible to just graduate and get a job. So therefore, I'm a sub. I live day to day waiting for the phone to ring and let me know if I'll be working. Trust me, subbing isn't what I thought I'd be doing when I decided to go to college and become a teacher. So, tomorrow I'll go to a school and have a faux class and be the faux teacher.

I live at home with my parents. This is because without a job a person can't really afford to live out on her own. Hmm so I have a faux adult life. I live at home with my parents. In the same bedroom I had when I was an infant. This isn't exactly what I pictured my almost middle twenties to be like.

Like I said, sometimes I feel like there is some exciting life out there that I'm missing out on. My life isn't horrible by any stretch. I have more than most, but today I feel like it isn't enough. I want to be a real teacher. I want to live in my own real home.

I want to be real.