Three Days Left

It's a long story, but the end-of-school date was pushed forward by three days so it's been a scramble to keep my head above water these days. Anyway, my friend Chrissy sent me this hilarious e-mail that spoke to my educator self. There are so many of these that apply to me so I've made little notes. Enjoy!

YOU might be a school employee if....

...you believe the playground should be equipped with Ritalin salt lick

...you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off (OMG YES. If you added up all the hours during the summer...yes we do work during the summer and all the hours after school, nights, and weekends then we'd probably work more than most 9-5ers.)

..it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered (Dustin is completely off the list!)

...you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside (I had heard this in college, but I can't believe how true it is...they are little human barometers.)

...you believe, "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card

...you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

...when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior

...you have no social life between August and June

...you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce

...you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce

...you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."

...you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district (You know that parent that has been giving me hell all year...I'd pack for them I'm so frustrated with them at this point!)

...you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form

...you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public (I love love love l-o-v-e this idea!!!)

...meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

...you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference

...you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!!!

...the words "I have college debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth

This week take the time to show some appreciation for all the educators in your life. It means the world to us to have someone acknowledge all we do!