My friend Nina isn't just a fellow blogger, but a friend and co-worker. The other day as I was cutting through her room she said, "Are you done breathing yet?" Well, yeah...I'm done breathing.
I've missed my blog and I've missed all my readers! Thank you so much for the encouraging emails and everyone who still stopped by to check in on me. Y'all are the best! Now, how to catch everyone up on what has been happening in my life in the most concise way possible? Several of you know that I can just go on and on about practically nothing... There were several reasons as to why I needed a little down time so I'm just going to give you a brief run down. I promise...brief!
Work...lots of things fall under this heading. Isn't if funny how if you aren't careful work can completely take over your life? This is sort of what happened to me.
Professional Learning Communities...Of The Devil
Okay, some of my fellow teachers may have heard of PLCs. Under it all, PLCs are a wonderful thing. I really do believe in them. PLC means working together as a school and group of professionals to see those kids as "ours" rather than just "mine". It is a very student-centered approach to teaching. The only down side...it is so much data and paperwork! Our district decided that everyone would do this and like it (seriously...a couple of complainers have gotten professional letters of reprimand put in their personnel folders...wtf?) and get it the first time around. Well, let me tell you...doing it takes a lot of time, no one really likes it, and getting it the first time is incredibly hard. It might have been easier if this was the only new thing out district was trying...but it wasn't. Picture me in a batting cage with one very small mitt. Now picture the ball thingy going crazy and firing hard balls every second. Yeah, that is me. Most days when someone comes to my door, I just want to hide under my desk! Believe me, even if I close my eyes they can still see me.
My Bleepty Bleep Principal
The woman hates me! I don't know why and I've stopped trying to figure it out. I had my annual evaluation and well...I'm jumping through a lot of hoops right now. She waited until the very last minute (seriously...Thursday 3:15 was the deadline and she came at 2:10-3:00 on Thursday) and showed up during end of the nine weeks testing. It was in my lesson plans that I would be working one-on-one with testing students and the others would be doing worksheets to keep busy and quiet. Well is it any wonder that she didn't see me teaching? Also, if you're a teacher you know that during reading testing it needs to be quiet. I made one student move closer to me because of behavior (he wasn't working) and I told two others to sit and read. Yes, I didn't hold their hands and plead with them to be quiet and work, but rather quickly and efficiently told them to sit down and get busy reading. Well, apparently my principal doesn't like how I use rules and consequences to manage my classroom. I feel you sighing and rolling your eyes. Anyway, I'm jumping through some hoops for her at the moment. Several people have told me to appeal the evaluation, but it just doesn't seem worth it at the moment. Sometimes it is just not worth the fight.
Updating My Resume and Job Hunting
With the above, is it any stretch to see how I'm looking to leave this district? Now, I'm not expecting perfection somewhere else and I'm not afraid of hard work, but geez I can't take working in this environment any longer. I've been told that not all districts are like this and I shouldn't give up teaching until I've been where it is good. I love teaching and it was a pretty sharp slap in the face when I questioned whether I wanted to continue doing it. So, I've updated the resume and I'm applying all over the place and now I wait to see if I get a nibble. I hate the waiting part!
Relay For Life Captain
Against my will (sorta) and against my better judgement (seriously) I took on the job of co-captaining our school's Relay For Life team. This is a wonderful event for a really good cause, but what was I thinking?! If you've ever headed up a group or team you know that it is almost like pulling teeth to get people to give of their valuable time to join the team, fund raise, and then participate in the actual event. I just felt overwhelmed. I still feel overwhelmed. But I've got a team (a wonderful team!) who help plan fundraisers and are in the trenches with me. And thank goodness it is all over in April!
Biggest Loser Club
At school, a group of us decided to do a little Biggest Loser at school. We donate $8 a month and the person who loses the most by the end of May gets the kitty...the over $500 kitty! I don't know exactly how it happened, but I'm the secretary. It isn't a hard job at all (just send out the weigh-in reminders) but it is one more thing to remember. I even forgot last week...shame shame. Anyway, I'm having fun with the club. We encourage each other and we've started walking one mile each day. Once you push past the initial pain...it's all gravy. Or so we tell ourselves!
Personal...or basically everything else.
Moving
Well, if I'm applying all over the place and assuming that I will get a nibble somewhere else means that a move is in my near future. I hate moving! I've only done it once but that was enough. I have a lot of stuff for a 26 year old. The thought of packing it up and finding another place to put it is very daunting. Yeah, just daunting.
Money
Ugh, how come bills come with being a grown up? I've been trying really hard to stick with my monthly budget (I haven't bought a new purse or shoes in many moons...) and save has become my mantra. That whole moving process...not cheap! Also, I have some big trips that I want to take (visit a friend in Jordan next year and maybe take another cruise). I also want (won't say need because mine is still working and running smoothly) to get a new car. For some reason, most people don't accept smiles and words of kindness. Also, for the last few months I've had outrageous energy bills. I couldn't figure out why since I was leaving the thermostat alone and either taking clothes off or putting more clothes on to be comfortable, but the bills were still over $200! Well, I called and the first thing they asked me was, "Have you changed your air filters lately?" I didn't know what the air filter was let alone where it was located in my house...seriously I thought it was the thing outside. Anyway, can you guess how long it had been since they'd been changed considering I didn't even know where it was located?! Let's see...I've lived here for almost two years. Yep, it was pretty darn gross. So, here is to hoping that my bill goes back down ASAP!
Social Calendar
I like hanging out with my friends, but I love alone time too. Well, I'd gotten a little bit out of whack. I wasn't spending enough time alone. It is great that I can go out and hang with friends, but I wasn't getting enough time to just recharge and rest. My battery was on E. I'm a people person so it was hard at first to say no, but now I'm pretty good at it. I've found the balance between enjoying being a homebody and the social butterfly. Thank goodness!
Missing My Parents
It was great being with my family over the holidays. I've been completely blessed to have such a great relationship with parents. Once I came home after the holidays and my life seemed to just implode, I really hated that they were over 5 hours away. Coming for a little pick me up visit was out of the question and getting home wasn't an option either. Being only a phone call away isn't much comfort and is a poor substitute for warm hugs. Thankfully, I'm seeing them this coming weekend and in two weeks it is Spring Break, and before I know it summer will be here. This has just been a long stretch.
Dental Surgery
Last August, my dentist told me that I'd need to have my four wisdom teeth removed or I'd risk ruining my smile. Of course it couldn't be routine...my wisdom teeth lay sideways instead of sitting up normally. So, that means some dental surgery this summer. Luckily, I discovered that I signed up for dental insurance (a total mistake by the way!) so 80% is covered. That is sort of a relief, but the thought of being put to sleep...I'm not comfortable with it.
There you go. Aren't you glad you just read about it and weren't living it?!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Breathing No Longer
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10 comments:
Girl you did need a breather!! I know how you feel about your job. I'm right there with you too. You know, Lori was miserable and get a new job, and she's so happy. Let's use her as inspiration. Up here where I am, teaching jobs are non existant. So maybe you have a good chance....my fingers are crossed for you!! I know exactly what you mean about not letting another person ask you to do ANYTHING. It's so hard to say no. SO HARD. I am talking about at work...there is jsut so much expected from you for crap pay! We need to create a trap door under our desks where we can go when someone knocks at our door!!!
You have been busy. I hope things start clearing up or at least going in your favor. I will be sure and keep you in my prayers. Have you applied everywhere or just around southeast Texas for a new school district?? I totally understand about the money and moving thing. It seems the money goes by TOO quick and we are trying to save for a house at the same time. Hope you keep in touch when you can and remember to take a breather for yourself!! Hope you liked the box I sent you. :)
Wow! Now I see why you needed a breather! In all that, I heard a TON of work related stress. I had that last year and simply changing to a new school has changed my life! I promise! Your job flows over into your life & when you are having troubles at work or hate your job, it will affect other areas of your life too. That being said, I hope you get a new job that you LOVE! It makes all the difference and it is true - not all districts or schools or principals are like that! Use any and all contacts you have!
Sending you hugs!!!
Wow, you are one overwhelmed lady! I understand why you needed the break, but I'm also glad you're back. I'm sure you will get "nibbles" soon. It's hard to see sometimes but I think everything happens for a reason. This time next year you'll probably look back on this post and be surprised at how quickly things have turned around for the better. Stress stinks, doesn't it? I so do not want to be an adult! Hang in there..and welcome back!
SO much of what you write about sounds familiar. One of the reasons that Dilbert is such a popular passtime is because idiot bosses are pandemic.
Fin, who understands
Glad to have you back - you HAVE been busy since last we heard from you!
Good luck on the new job search!
Yay! You're back on here! Glad to see you're breathing...wait, NOT breathing...hmmmm, that's just confusing. You know what I mean. :-)
WOW, Fin told me I needed to get by here pronto to see what's what. He was right. I sure hope that spring break is wonderful and you get some much needed down time. I know it's hard to contemplate moving now that you've settled into the community. Hopefullly, you'll get some great job offers. After all, you're not a newbie anymore.
It's been a while since I've had the time or the inclination to come by and read anyone's blog but so glad I did and I'm so glad you're back!
You know my situation of this past year so I kinda know some of what you're experiencing.
Sometimes we have to take a deep look within and realize that we are the only ones that can change our situation.
Here's to knowing that you are making moves in the correct direction! I know things will be better!
I agree with the old adage, everything is for a reason!
Jacquie
Glad you're back, but sorry you've got so much on your plate right now.
I think you're 100% right in looking for a new job. Generally speaking, when someone has it out for you for no apparent reason, as this supervisor does, it will be almost impossible for you to change her perspective. I didn't quit teaching in a classroom because I didn't like teaching, or I didn't like my kids - I loved both. However, I could no longer deal with the "powers that be." And since that wasn't my first love, it wasn't that hard to walk away and do the thing I loved most. But if teaching is your first love, career wise I mean, then don't give up on it. Give up on the situation and find a new one, but don't walk away from something you really love.
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