For The Honk Of It

After all this time, you guys probably know just how easily amused I am. Usually that amusement comes from things I see or hear, but today I was totally amused by myself. Being able to laugh at yourself is a sign of a healthy self esteem...or so I'm told. Well, today I'm extremely healthy!

A few weeks ago, I had to have my car put in the shop (code words for I had to spend an exuberant amount of money...). I had originally decided to have it looked at because my horn had all but given up the ghost. Seriously, this would be the best post to make audible. I'm sure you'd be highly amused to hear me wheeze and whooo like my practically dead horn, but alas I'm not that technologically advanced. So, just imagine me sitting here making wheezey and whoooy noises. The replacing of the horn was needed so my car would pass inspection. Well, I am definitely going to pass inspection!

Today after school, I needed to run to the little mail shipping place I use to drop off a package. The box was kind of bulky so I didn't want to wag in more than necessary. I grabbed my purse (also kind of bulky) and set it against the steering wheel to dig out my checkbook. Now, pre-outrageous amount to fix car (can you tell I'm still a little bitter about the loss of that $680?) I could have sat on the horn and it wouldn't have made a peep. Well, post-fix the horn is how shall I say...sensitive. Apparently the edge of my purse was pressing against the center of the wheel. When I reached into the pocket to grab my checkbook I pressed a little too hard I guess.

Now, here is the part that just tickles my funny bone. I didn't realize it at the time, but there was another lady parked next to me that walking in front of my car at the exact moment I pressed a little too hard. My horn, now fully functional and loud, tooted big time. Startled, I looked up to see her jump and I guess I hit it because before I knew it the horn was going off...again. I couldn't get my purse off my lap fast enough. By that time, I was tickled by seeing her jump and then me jump and then that horn going off again.

I did manage to get out of the car, with my checkbook, and the box without further incident. I apologized to her once I got inside the building. Thankfully, she was super nice about it all! Even she joined in with a little chuckle of her own. She did say it was a good thing she's worn her Depends. You just have to like a woman that can laugh at the fact that she needs "leakage" protection!

If all that wasn't bad enough, on the way to my next stop I hit the horn again. Now, if you knew my family you would understand this total "Mimi moment". Several years ago, my Mimi had this van that must have been possessed. The horn would just go off at random times. No one ever wanted to ride in that thing, but it sure was funny when you did! So, needless to say, from here on out (or until this horn goes all wheezey and whoooy) I will make sure I'll watch exactly what I put against the wheel!

Entirely Too Much TV

I saw the cutest commercial today! Yes, I was home from work. I'm having ear problems (and no the kids didn't talk it off!). Last week I went to the doctor because I'd been having ear pain and pressure for almost two weeks. The doctor came in, took a look, and said I had a serious infection in one ear and the start of one in the other ear. I was given a round of antibiotics, but they hadn't done the trick. I'm armed with another prescription for stronger antibiotics and orders to follow-up again with the doctor in seven days. I'm so tired of feeling so...full!

Anyway, back to this commercial I saw today. Now, you know that I'm a TV watcher. A lot of the time, half the fun of watching it is because of the commercials. Or perhaps I'm just so easily amused! Either way, Charmin has the funniest commercial. It starts out with a little bear walking around with toilet paper fuzz on his bottom. Then his mama comes after him with the vacuum cleaner and sucks the fuzz right off his bottom. I'm not doing it any justice, but it sure is cute! The whole point is that their toilet paper is quilted in a way that won't leave any fuzz on your bottom.

If the teaching thing doesn't pan out, I might try advertising. I could come up with something just as cute as a mama vacuuming her little bear's bottom. Trust me, be on the look out for it!

Spring Cleanin'

Just thought I'd share...this is my 350 post! Who would have thought I'd have so much to say?!

I was off on Friday (district says it is a bad weather day and the calendar says that it is Good Friday) and was so glad! We've only got ten weeks of school left. The year has just flown by...it is so crazy! Anyway, I spent yesterday out with the girls. We went shopping, had a great lunch out, and then saw a movie. Busy day so I slept extra late this morning. I think with Spring Break last week and yesterday off I'm getting into a habit that I hate to break come Monday morning. I also had to remind myself that it wasn't Sunday and I had an "extra" day off.

Being that it is now officially Spring and I had some time on my hands I decided to do some in-depth cleaning. Y'all pretty much know how I feel about chores so why bore everyone again, but oh I hate house work! I'll make someone such a terrible wife one day. Ha ha...that was a joke! Well, sorta...

I've vacuumed and scrubbed stuff. I've washed curtains and sheets. Now I need to start organizing stuff. My bathroom closet looks like a mini drug store and linens store exploded. I'm contemplating the pantry and spice rack next, but we'll see. I'm not all that into cooking so maybe it could wait.

Along the lines of needing to sweep the dust bunnies off the rafters and ceiling fans, I started thinking about other things that could probably use a good cleaning. You know the things that aren't "household items". Things like my attitude toward people at work. Instead of letting it get me down I need to just clean it up and realize that there are only a handful of weeks left to have to deal with these people. I also need to dust off the stamps and my address book. I got a card from a friend and realized just how long it has been since I sent out mail happiness to people. I also need to tackle my closets. I have clothes for all the seasons just thrown in together in the bedroom closet. Yes, I am one of those people who try to keep the seasonal clothes all together and change them out from the spare bedroom closet to my actual bedroom closet. It is a sickness I tell you! Plus, I need to get rid of some things! I've been getting more movement in and thanks to more nights cooking rather than eating out, I'm down 10 pounds and some things are too big in the waist now. That kind of cleaning is always a good thing right?!

So, I'm taking time to reflect about what the Easter holiday means to me on a spiritual level, but I'm also looking at it from the perspective of someone who needs to shake off the dullness and blues of the Winter and get into the new groove of Spring! I look outside (I have six windows in my living room and the view is just gorgeous out there) and see everything green and getting ready to bloom. It is invigorating! I hope you can find some time to catch that same feeling too!

Pinch Protection

I keep saying it and once again, I really should write down all the funny things kids say to their teachers and write a book! Some days the best part of the job is what comes out of their little mouths.

As I'm sure you guys are well aware, today was St. Patrick's Day. Like most people, I wore green in an effort to avoid any pinch activity. See...I thought I looked pretty good for the first Monday back after Spring Break.



Anyway, as the kids came into the classroom, I looked them over from head to toe and if I didn't see green they had to endure a little pinch (please don't turn me in for child abuse...I swear it was the gentlest of pinches!) before they could enter. Out of sixteen kids only two needed a pinch. Our morning was running pretty smoothly when one of my boys just about came out of his seat waving his arm.

"Ms. Stewart, can I pinch you?"
"No! You only can pinch if the person is not wearing green."
"Ms. Stewart, you shouldn't have worn green. We all want to pinch you!"

I wasn't sure how to respond to that kind of logic! I reminded him that I didn't want to get pinched so I wore green as pinch protection.

Later in the day, I met up with my Pre-K friends (I think I hear a calling to go back to Pre-K...a whole other blog post...) and one of the little dolls that loves to give me hugs every afternoon ran up to me. She grabbed my name badge and pointed to my name. I should mention that my first and last name is printed on my badge under my picture. She pointed to each letter in my first name as she said the letters out loud. Then she said, "That says Ms." She repeated the same thing with my last name. Then she said, "That says Stewart."

She was so excited that she looked up at me and said, "I can read!". She was just so darn adorable! Kids...gotta love 'em!

What If...

Y'all know how I feel about tags and questionnaire things! I found (read stole) this from Lori's blog. I liked it. If you do too, then feel free to steal! If not, then just enjoy the read.

What if I could meet someone in the art world to chat with - I think it would be a very short conversation! I'm not artsy at all. Now, if scrapbooking counts as the art world, I'd love to meet and chat with Lisa Bearnson!

What if I could have one wish granted for the benefit of all mankind - I'm sure this sounds corny and very reminiscent of a beauty pageant, but I'd wish for world peace. Every time you turn on the TV there is some new break-out of violence. Someone else is hurting another person. Surely an end to all the violence and wars would be a benefit to all mankind.

What if I could travel anywhere in the world - I'd want to go everywhere! It is hard to narrow it down to just one spot, but I think I'd love to travel and see Ireland and Scotland. The pictures that I see from there are absolutely breathtaking. And some of those highland kilt wearing clansmen fantasies don't hurt!

What if I could live in a period other than the present, for 24 hours - Hmm, I think I have it pretty good right now, so I'm not sure I'd want to leave the present! But, for the sake of the question, I'd probably pick the Civil War era. Maybe I've watched Scarlett one too many times, but the dresses, hats, shoes, and such look so lovely. Plus, it just seems like the deep South would be a charming place. I'm so off base aren't I?!

What if I could make over three areas of my body - My butt (I would redefine it and make it smaller), my breasts (I would put some of the butt there to make them bigger), and my thighs (they have just always been a struggle). Outside of the breasts (which will probably just remain their current shape and size because I really don't think I'm vain enough for surgery), I am already working on making over those other two areas. The going is just slow!

What if I could become an animal for 24 hours - I want to be Dex, Fat Kitty! All he does is get pampered with attention, eat, and sleep. Who wouldn't want that kind of a life?!

What if I could bring someone back to life for 24 hours - I think I'd want to bring back my dad's mom. She died before I was born so I never had the chance to know her. I've heard all about her, but would love to introduce myself and find out a little bit more about her.

Show Me The Money

Ever have one of those days where you feel like everywhere you turn someone is demanding "Show me the money!"? Well, today was my day.

My car is a good little car and I try my best to take care of it, but today I had to take it to the shop. I went in for one little thing...the horn. See, when I got the car it had this sickening little wheeze of a horn sound. Well, after several years and just maybe one too many honks, it gave up the ghost. I also need to have the thing inspected and I knew that without the horn it wouldn't pass. So, how much could it cost to fix the horn? I wouldn't know, because it was also discovered that I needed a new headlight thing-a-mah-bob, the fuel filter and some plugs needed replacing, and the timing belt needed to be replaced. These guys are reputable and do outstanding work. My parents have used them for years, but when he said the total was $680 I just about fell out. That is more than my rent! More than my rent and cable and phone put together! I guess this is what savings accounts and rainy days are all about huh?

That was this morning.

As I mentioned before, I'm having to have my wisdom teeth extracted (sounds more dramatic!) this summer. Today was the pre-surgery consult. Well, the oral surgeon I'm using will file my insurance, but they don't accept it as payment. That means I shelled out $125 for the visit and the three second X-ray. I also found out that my bottom teeth are embedded in the jaw bone so the extraction will be a "bony extraction" which means I have to be put to sleep and the teeth have to be cut before they can be removed. I found out all kinds of scary stuff. Like, I'll be put to sleep. The surgery will take an hour and a half. Because of the position of my bottom wisdom teeth (they lay flat instead of standing up like good teeth) it will most likely being a swelling and painful recovery process. My doctor even said, "You'll probably be cussin' me for the first few days." Thanks, but that wasn't encouraging Doc. As if all that information wasn't enough...the receptionist laid the boom on me. The total (before insurance...which mine might yeah MIGHT cover only 80%) is $1645. Yeah you read that right.

I figured I'd better come home and stay put lest anyone else come find me and say I owed them money! Feel free to start a collection in my name. Okay okay I figured that one wouldn't go over, but please do send up thoughts and prayers that my insurance will cover the full 80%. My checking account and I would really appreciate it!

On The Road Again...

The last few weeks have found me putting the pedal to the metal and hitting the highway. Last weekend, I traveled to my grandparents for a family weekend (had a great time!) and then yesterday I headed to my parents' house to spend the week (it is much needed Spring Break time!). As I was trapped in my car for hours on end I made a few discoveries.

First, you can always go home again, but the drive never gets any shorter! It takes forever to get anywhere in the state of Texas. I mean, having lived here my whole life, I know Texas is a big state. I was telling someone just the other day that I spent about three hours driving to go about two inches on the map. And that was the short trip. I live about five hours away from my parents now. My mom always likes to ask, "Well did the road get any shorter?" and the answer is always the same...NO!

Second, we need to stop worrying about that chicken and start talking to all those poor stinky skunks about crossing the road! I've never seen so many dead skunks! Maybe it was the distance and that is why I counted so many. Poor stinky things...you'd think they would learn that cars are not friendly to skunks.

Third, it is a good thing I'm an educator because I'd never make it as a singer! In an effort to ward off the boredom, I plugged my MP3 player in and sang away. I love that thing! I guess it is a good thing I didn't give up and chunk it out the window at Christmas. LOL While it didn't totally take my mind off of how bored I was, it did make for some pretty strange looks from my fellow travelers. I was singing at the top of my lungs and dancing (well as much as you can strapped in by the seat belt) along to the songs. I'm sure I looked like I was on my way to the nut farm!

Anyway, despite the long and boring drive, I've arrived safe and in one piece. I unloaded to my mom about all the crap that has been happening at school. (Y'all, I could go on and on about it, but it is just same song different verse. Please just send thoughts and prayers my way that I find another job ASAP!) Well, after our debriefing, I resolved that I wouldn't give school another thought this week. I'm looking forward to sleeping late, catching up on some reading, and just over all having some time to just relax. My fellow teachers will completely understand that sentiment. The rest of you...sorry, but you made the wrong career choice!